On Tuesday we had our first "Tough Stuff" program for entire families who are bereaved or who have a child in pediatric palliative care. We had a big group--roughly 12 children and teens, and their parents/caregivers. After we all made name tags, had pizza, and introduced ourselves, the adults went off and did their own thing while we played some more getting-to-know-you games. We played Team Juggle which is a game with balls and it's about remembering everyone's names. Then we played Question Ball. I brought two balls and wrote questions all over them. The questions were very basic, like "what is your favorite ice cream flavor?" or "what is your favorite part of summer?" If we had more time, I would have loved to let the children come up with the questions. But because of time, I pre-made them. We played a couple rounds of that, and then played another game called "Taps" to see how many taps we could keep a big beach ball in the air without it touching the ground.
After those games, the children found objects in nature (sticks, branches, rocks, pinecones, etc) and we painted them. Afterward, we put them in our plot in the shared garden at the site. Clean-up was a bit hectic, and it started to get a little buggy since it was almost 9PM, but overall it was a great first night for the program. Next week we will be working with natural clay.
On Wednesday I visited a home with another staff member. It was very chaotic, but we managed a few games of Uno together. After that, my visit for 1PM called to cancel. Instead, I went into the office and my supervisor gave me a list of supplies to get at Michaels with a gift card and a Tax ID. This was my first experience with a Tax ID, so I was a little nervous. But the woman at the register knew all about it and was very helpful.
On Thursday I had supervision. I woke up Thursday morning in a fog, and I had a feeling that everything that I've been doing nonstop for the past two months was finally beginning to catch up with me. I even developed a cold sore, and the only explanation I have for it is stress levels. I cried on the way to the office, and as soon as I sat down with my supervisor I began crying again. We talked for an hour and a half. She justified and normalized the feelings I've been having. She said it takes someone with a big heart to do this kind of work, but we have to learn how to protect our hearts. We spent a long time talking about the things that have affected me the most.
We also talked about self-care. My supervisor told me that she will count my self-care hours towards my hour log because it is that important. I am so grateful to have such an understanding supervisor who gets it. She has been at this for a while, and she is fully aware of how hard it can be. I left supervision feeling much lighter. Later that night, I wrote down a list of everything I have to do, just to get it out of my head and onto paper.
I feel very supported at my internship. It has been such a learning experience so far, and I know each day I will continue to learn more. Shifting perspectives and making some sort of meaning out of any uncomfortable situation will help me to continue growing as a young professional. As I go on, I will learn ways to protect my heart so that I can do my best work.
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